Millennial Matrimony: A Question of Blood

So much is changing in the world, and yet, so much remains the same. Lifestyles of the present generation may bear little resemblance to their ancestors' lives. Yet, marriages are still arranged, families still look forward to inviting a new member into their midst about whose health, pedigree and character they have satisfied themselves. At least in India, we cannot claim to be a society where marriage is decided solely by the choice and personal preferences of the two people involved.

Which makes the investigation before marriage a very crucial matter.

What do families like to make sure of when they investigate a prospective bride or groom? The medical history of the family is always taken into consideration to rule out any near relatives with mental illness, or disfiguring hereditary diseases like leucoderma, or any life-threatening genetic disorders. Any known bad habits of the bride or groom that reflect on his or her character also come under the scanner. Which family will feel like trusting their daughter to a man who regularly totters home in the wee hours after bar-crawling with his friends? Or let their beloved son fall prey to a woman who has broken more hearts than the candles on her birthday cake? Pre-marriage investigations take all these things into account.

However, some matters can not be decided by mere outside surveillance or observation. The accounts of a dozen neighbours and relatives count for nothing if someone discovers after his or her wedding that his or her spouse is HIV+.

Being HIV+ is not the end of the world. Life goes on, particularly as more and more treatments are found to manage the condition. Practicing discrimination against HIV+ people within the community and society is also a criminal act that should be punished as harshly as other forms of harmful discrimination. Yet, being HIV+ is something that is rarely declared openly by anyone in our society, out of fear of the negative reactions it may produce. More importantly, many people may not even be aware of their HIV+ status, unless they go in for some form of testing, and they avoid getting tested, again out of fear.

It is for this reason that pre-marital blood testing should be considered as one of the ways in which people seal their intent to get married. If prospective brides and grooms go in for blood screening, it clears up confusion regarding not only HIV, but also other genetic blood disorders that could have some bearing on the birth and health of children.

How such screening is carried out with the required secrecy and sensitivity that prevents the destruction of either the girl or boy's reputation, or harms their future marriage prospects is the responsibility of both families. This may sound like a tall order, but it is essential.

Who said its easy as pie to get married in twenty-first century India? You have got to do what it takes.